Sanity turns to Vanity

welcome

Welcome to my blog. Navigate Using The Polaroids On The Left. :D

Today i happened to visit my blog.
The first post i saw was about my ah gong.
The memories are back again.
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Dear ah gong,

Just wondering are you alright and getting used to that world?
It had been 4 months and 3 days since the day you left us.
Although, our life and daily routine get back to normal after the 7th day.
However, you are always in our heart.

Remember the first time you saw cousin's daughter, you got interested in her socks as you thought that was shoes because it was a shoe designed socks. and you said and asked why she didn't took of her shoes.
Remember the day, i followed my parents to sent you home from Golden Mile, i believe you remember who am i, just that you kept asking me the same questions over and over again. I guess it is to keep the conversation going.
I guess as compared to the rest, your memory about me is lesser. As, you only remember me as the young one.
Remember there's one day, i received call that you went missing. We were worried. So everyone and i went to look around for you. but can't find. luckily at last, at around 6am in the morning, the police found you at geylang area. I believe you went there was because you thought you still living there.
Remember that you always dislike people to help you keep your things back into the store. that was because you had your own way of keeping things. you know which one come first and next.
Remember that you dislike wasting food and love to eat, you can even forgotten whether have you ate just now and ended up eating 5 times of wanton mee.
And during the chinese new year reunion dinner last year, you got abit choked for eating too fast and those uncles scolded and stop you from eating but you kept quiet.

Remember that after you went in to the nursery home, you became weaker. and ended up your legs get weaker and unable to walk by your own. however, you got a pair of strong arms. and like to scratch yourselves or pull the urine bag, therefore they tie your hand up with the chairs. its kind of heartpain to see your hands being tied up.
After that, you went in to hospital 2 times before the last time. but you are still alert and know us.

The last time you went into the hospital, i was working and was called to rush to hospital. but you were still in operation room. the next day when we see you, you was abit blur as the anesthesia haven't really go off yet. However, i went to hospital to see you almost everyday and i told myself that if possible i will hold your hands when i can. and i did. however, your hand was cold. how i wish i can pass my warmest to you. however, there are times you are alert. my aunt still joke around with you that how much you are selling the shoes to me and her. you said that you need to see the shoes. but i didnt gave you see as its awkward as we are in the hospital. therefore you said "aiya. anyhow lah.. 5 dollars lah".. then my aunt asked "how about me?" you answered "2 dollars".. my aunt asked him back "wa.. you sell to her 5 dollars and sell to me 2 dollars, can cheaper anot?" you replied "aiya. anything lah" with a pissed off face.

at first i couldnt accept the fate that you left us. and the last time i touched you, you was so thin and able to feel your chest bone.
seeing you in the coffin, is even harder for me to face it.
during the funeral, my sister and i sat beside you, and talk to you in our heart. suddenly my sister cried and the light bulb on top of your picture keep twitching. I believe that was you. you are giving a signal to ask my sister not to cried, right?
I guess through the korean drama, 49 days, i gave me a thought that you are still around us just that we couldnt see you. and i afraid you will feel scared that why you talk to us, but we didnt answer.
during the last day of funeral, the feeling isnt good.
that was because, it shows that i will not be able to see you again.
i cried like mad during the rites whenever i saw you in the coffin.

the next day, we went to mandai there to collect your ashes.
what i can say is that, i dont have the real feeling of losing you even when i saw your ashes.
i still feel that you are around somewhere that i can see.
but, that isnt true anymore.
anyway,
i will never forget your face.
no matter is the one who always asked me the same questions, the one who look innocent to think that socks is shoes, the one lying on the hospital bed, basically every emotions you had.

Happenings

Alright!

Its really had been THOUSAND of years ever since i last wrote a blog entry.

However, during this few months there were many things happened.

I managed to survived through the first semester in TP with a GPA of 3.62.

I'm glad to see that as its hard to get a GPA of 4 in poly.

I went to Bangkok during my September vacation period for 4 days and 3 nights, staying over at P2 Boutique Hotel. Overall, the hotel was acceptable and provide me with a full breakfast. But sadly is they made spoil of my cousin's luggage and didnt pay her back. But luckily, she manage to get one to one exchange over at the place she brought it. Throughout the treat, i spent around $450 excluding the air ticket and accommodation.

After the trip, i rest for awhile before i get back to work.

However, the day i get back to work.

More serious things happened.

My grandpa was in a serious situation where he may go off any time.

So i stopped my work and took cab to hospital.

however, im glad that he still survived through for around 1 week plus before he was passed away on 13 Oct 2011.

But during that period of time, its heart pain to see him suffering. He was in pain until he seem to be another person. But im glad that i was there with him during the period he was in hospital.

However, the thing i was regretted was i didnt manage to see him the very last time. As i chose to stay at home first then go with my sis in the afternoon. And the most thing i regretted was that i caused my dad to also be late to see him for the very last time. Sorry Dad.

Dear Ah gong,

Hope you are doing fine.

I really miss you alot.

no matter what i do, i will remember you.

Im glad that i hold your hand to give you warm when i can.

Im glad that i was there with you when you are in hospital.

Although you doesnt remember who am i,

but im glad to have you as my grandpa.

Sorry that we didnt chat alot due to communication problem.

as i dont understand much about hokkien dialects when i was young.

Hope you are not feeling afraid as you see us but we didnt reply to you.

I know you will feel abit confused of your world and our world.

Hopefully, you will manage to find ah ma and be together.

Once again, Thanks you so much for what you had teaches us.

To be active even when you are old.

Your sincerely,

Grand-daughter

Ivy

Poly life

it had been so long since i last updated my blog.

words to describe poly life : "Fun but tough."

hmm.. the first day of school, its like still trying to get use to the environment..

Need to make new friends, new teachers, new environment.

its tough, but im glad to be in this class.

my classmates over all are still okay.

no fighting, no quarreling.

but one bad thing is most of them are younger than me. >___<

suddenly feels im so old.

although i haven't reach 20 yet, but this year 6 nov im going to be 20 le!!

oh my!! in 2011, i stepped in to 20th age group and leave 10th age group.

hahah..

projects are also a headache for me..

since the first day of school, i had CTOS group project, Macroeconomic individual project + group project, CTOS individual project (wordpress), Comm skills report writing group project, SAS project and last but not least MID SEMESTER TESTS!

gosh! result is coming out after school reopen.

HOPEFULLY I CAN PASS!

other than, studying.

im also busying working.

up till now, i still havent got time to really rest at home.

TIRED.

busy working to earn my school fees.

no one will know my feelings and my tiredness.

Life get harder as i grow.

Friends

Friends to me there is Come and Go.

There is also Come and Stay.

I can confidently say i changed and grew up alot during this ITE life.

i guess if i manage to go poly after OLEVEL, i wont have this kind of change in me.

Thanks to all my classmates and beloved buddies for making my ITE life a meaningful and enjoyable.

throughout this 2 years, we quarrel, we fight, we cry, we angry, we happy...

lots of things happened to make us grew up and move on to our life.

we learned many things from each other.

we learned to be strong as there will always be someone there to support you.

we learned to care and concern about each other.

we learned to listen.

Thinking of that day, i was so sad and angry about the SLAPPING case.

but shocking classmates showed me their concerns. Made me so touched about it.

as from what i see, we are not that close plus didnt even talk to each other.

hahahs.

i guess the attachment period is the time that we began to be close.

as we met out to chit chat about each other experience.

we listen and we share.

everyone have a chance to share.

no one is out, everyone is in. :)

throughout this 2 years, my clique of friends keep changing or increased. hahahs.

from the four of us (jia yi, joelle, celia and i), increased with vann :)

then, slowly.... left jia yi, vann and i...

then, it increased to jiayi, vann, amanda , peiling, and i...

then, left jiayi, amanda, peiling, and i...

and now finally!!

jiayi, nani, zahidah, salleh, kit, chuan yao, amanda, peiling ,vann and i..

although, we hardly hang out with amanda and peiling during the holidays, but its coz of they busy with working. i believe whenever they are free, they will always happy to join us! :)

about vann, she are even more busier. vann is studying right now, so no time to hang out with us often.

hmm.. so how to u determine clique of friends?

for me, clique of friends are friends that you just love the time hanging out with them!! :D

but im glad to have everyone around.

love the fun and jokes we had during this two years!

hope we can continues to hang out even we are going different route.

March Updates

on the 18 march, my class is having a BBQ gathering. although it doesnt goes with the plan for playing games. but BBQ still run smoothly. :)

everyone enjoyed and ate well during that BBQ. that might be the last time we seeing each other unless on the Graduation Day. but that's on MAY. still FAR~ hahahs.

after the BBQ, zahidah, kit, chuan yao , salleh and i went to town area to play LAN games. "LEFT 4 DEAD".

this is my first time play LAN game during late night. hahahs.. its fun! :)

after that, everyone returned home.

on 23 march, we gathered again! we met out to visit ACM. although, we might think the stuffs over there its boring. but the journey, its enjoyable. as we might not know when will we hang out again. :)

on 28 march, jiayi, nani and i went to Peranakan museum and national museum.

its more like a history of peranakan and singapore.

although, the stuffs over there not much. but, it does caught our attention! :)

i guess we like the most is the STAMP part at Peranakan Museum?

hahhas. after museum visit, we went bugis area for shopping! but only jiayi brought the most.

LOL.

but i fail to buy a shoe that caught my eyes. :(

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alright! for the nearly whole month of holiday, i had been staying at home! RAWRRS!

need a job!!

but cant find. :(

MOOD DOWN ......

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Updates

WOWOWOWOW~

it had been so long that ever since i update my blog.

oh well.

the first thing i gonna mention is.....

IM GRADUATED FROM ITE!!

woooo~ on the 8 March 2011, i had my last exam paper for ITE at school indoor sport hall during 11am-12.45pm!!

and surprisingly, the paper turn out to be easier than i expected. :)

alright. after exam, i went to Hei Sushi at DownTown East with Jia Yi, Amanada, PeiLing, Vann, Nani, Zahidah, Salleh, Chuanyao and wai kit.

after eating, we went to pasir ris park to chit chat and discuss about the BBQ.

I love chatting with them and joking around. :)

they had made my day an enjoyable one~

hmm... there will be an class BBQ on 18 march 2011.

it will be at East Coast Park Area C pit 32~

hope many of them would come. :)

awaiting for the GRADUATION DAY to come~ :D

oh ya!

poly admission is out on 1 april..

afraid~

oh ya! i love this message from GOD @ facebook.

" one good deed can shift the balance of the whole world. Never underestimate the power of your goodness and kindness. "

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

First post of the year 2011!

firstly, a greeting to everyone!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope everyone will have a great and blissful year ahead!

secondly, an update of myself.

1. project is done, left with handing up reports and presentation then im really get rid of this project.

2. Went to snow city on the christmas eve with jiayi. it was a great experience to experience the coldness. although its not as cold as the countries which are snowing. but that's enough for me. hahahhas!

3. Went to watch fireworks at opposite of esplanade with jiayi. it was so exciting to see the fireworks which last about 10minutes. but got home late. luckily there's MRT and bus that able to bring us home. hahahs!

P.S : i know it sound ke lian to only have me and jiayi to go celebrate our christmas and new year eve. hahahs. but we got no choice. but after all its still fun with just two of us. :D

3rd, what i am going to do in year 2011?

1. Rebonding my hair

2. Buy new iphone/blackberry

3. Graduate from ITE

4. Get a job?

5. Trip to overseas

and.... etc.....